Fifi & Johnny : What really happened? English
by Max le Fou A.K.A. ButtBadger
Summary: An alternate story about the episode How I spent my vacations, featuring Nigel Stinker from my fic L'Amour Kick Ass being a sorta sequel to it...


**FIFI & Johnny : what was really happened?**

_Remember "How I spent my vacations" ? In that épisode, Fifi is in live with Johnny Pew, a movie star. But Nigel Stinker, our black skunk from "L'amour Kick Ass" was already in her life. Zere's something wrong around here, non?_

_This fanfiction tells what really happened... Hope you'll enjoy it. :)_

_-- Max le Fou / ButtBadger_

Several weeks passed since Nigel & Fifi are officially together. All was well between them until one day, when Nigel sees some magazines, with a a blue skunk in the cover, in Fifi's cadillac. That skunk seems to be called Johnny Pew. Nigel began to be worried, especially when Fifi talks about Johnny everytime they are together.

One day, two days before the vacations. Fifi told to Nigel :

"You know what? I am going to zee Acme beach zis summer. I heard zat Johnny Pew will be there, for the preview of his movie "Skunknophobia"! I absolutely need an autograph of him!" Nigel did his usual ironic giggle and said :

- Honestly I wonder whatcha find cool on him! It's not cuz he made alot of movies that he's a god... Just a silly skunk like me and ya... And maybe he's not so kind that he appears...

- Vous don't understand, Nigel! He eez a god!" said Fifi, a little bit outraged. Nigel raise an eyebrow. "... Looks like you're in love with him, dontcha?" he asks. Fifi didn't replies. Nigel feels annoyed at his turn.

- Your silence says much, I understood... Then, go, in that case! Go see your god! But you'll go alone!

- Nigel, stop that! I don't like when you are jealous like zis! says Fifi, feeling the anger comming.

- Me??? Jealous???" Nigel did his ironic laugh "Jealous of him??? I don't see why i have to, I don't wanna be like that jerk!"

It was too much. Fifi went away, really upset "_Sacrebleu_!! Alright, then, I will find my "jerk"! And Alone! So eet will be real vacations!"

Nigel was upset, but very sad. He didn't wanted to loose his beloved Feef. And not because of a blue movie star skunk. But he was sure to have right. He already saw movie stars twice in his life, and they were bad with their fans sometimes. Since that, he distrustes every kind of stars.

At his home, Nigel thought deeply. He have to act quickly. Fifi seems to be completely in love with Johnny Pew. If he doesn't do something, he will loose her...

Finally he found a way. He decided to follow Fifi discreetly at the Acme beach...

SEveral days later, the two skunks were at the Acme beach. Nigel followed Fifi discreetly, in a way close to James Bond or Solid Snake... Fifi didn't see that she was followed and was cuddling a photo of Johnny Pew, a picture that she kept close to her since her arguing with Nigel.

Fifi stops near a stand and talks to its seller. While he approaches, Nigel saw that it was Shirley and her fortune teller stand. After a minute, Fifi feels all joyful and hops on the street, following her way. Nigel thought that Johnny Pew wasn't far from that joy and he feels a pick of stress comming.

Nigel waited a moment and comes to the stand. Without noticing it, he walks and falls on Foulmouth who was on the ground.

"Feck gommit!!!! You can't see where you walk, you stinky???" shouted the chicken, with his usual swear. Nigel, under the stress, couldn't control himself and shouted louder "Leave me alone, you chicky, darn feck gommit!!! Go to the KFC and don't press me off!!!" Scared for life, Foulmouth ran away. Nigel, getting back control of himself, said "Wait, come back, Foulmouth! Sorry, I'm just a lil'bit upset, today!" but Fowlmouth was too far already.

"Like, I sense a lot of stress vibes on you, Nigel, or some junk. Can I help you?" asked Shirley. Nigel turned around and said, embarrassed :

- Shirley, I need ya help, more than you imagine...

- It's about Feef, don't you? You're afraid that she will do a mistake with Johnny Pew, right?

- Euhhhhh oui...

- Like, Fifi asked me to not tell you anything if you ask me. But i saw in the stars that all will be better if i do something for you both or some junk...

- Ah thanks, Shirl. said Nigel smiling. Where did she go?

- She went to see Johnny at the Acme Restort Hotel over here."

Nigel put 10$ on the stand "Thanks so much! You gonna save our lifes and I'll owe you that later!" Shirley wanted to tell Nigel that it wasn't necessairy to pay for that, since he's a friend, but Nigel was already too far.

Our black skunk was behind a shrub near the hotel entrance, after that Fifi hopped inside. Nigel thought about a way to enter inside the hotel when he suddenly saw a big purple furry bullet comming out from the entrance... "Mister Johnny doesn't seem to be socialbe with his fans, as I expected..." Nigel thought.

HHe waited a while again, watching his beloved Fifi. He saw her, with a costume of Michelle Lovitz, then going out again, completely flat and crying a little... Nigel waited a moment then was going to follow her. "She's surely crying around here. Here's the good moment for comming!"...

CRASH! He bumped into someone and felt! "Hey, you can't see where you goin', you..." mummbles Nigel... Then he looked at the one who he bumped. Nigel was in front of a dark blue skunk with a black vest and a lollipop. His hairs was weird but Nigel recognized them. "J...J..Johnny Pew??" The skunk looked at Nigel with a dark looking "Yup it's me. Now, if you permit it, kiddo, I would like to pass." Angered, Nigel faced Johnny. "Kiddo??? Me a kiddo???!! I... Lemme..." But the words didn't come. Nigel's blocking was here, his fear of violence comming again, strangely. Johnny wasn't more muscled than him, thought...

Finaly, Nigel gave Johnny a dark looking before going away... "I'll meet you again, Johnny! We will see that later!" Upset, Nigel looked at Johnny while he goes to the hôtel's behind as the movie star was making his way at the other side... Suddenly, on his eye corner, Nigel saw something fall from the sky in a trash can. There were a huge purple and white tail attached to that thing... Nigel ran for hide himself behind the hotel and took his scope, watching it. He saw Fifi who was crying more. She probably missed another occasion to enter. He also saw Johnny passing by and giving her a napkin...

"Eww, blow your nose.." Johnny said before continuing his way. "_Merci_" says Fifi. She blew her nose and suddenly realised who talked. Then, she jumped on Johnny, her picture at the hand.

- Can I have your autograph?? she said with her cute voice.

- Huh..I don't have a pen..." said Johnny Pew a lil bit embarrassed.

Fifi felt the earth falling around her. she searches a pen everywhere on Johnny, like a watchman... Finaly she didn't find anything and cried louder. Johnny decided to do something like a gentleman. "Hey relax, babe, we'll find one. Come on" Fifi smiled again and followed Johnny, saying "I will die for you!".

They went to his car and Johnny took all his beach stuff. "I know, dit-il, but that won't be necessairy. You can just carry my stuff..." and let fall the stuff on the poor purple skunk.

Nigel smiled. That Johnny acted like a uncouth and Nigel knew Fifi's mind. She usually don't let any guy do that to her. With his scope, he saw Fifi's head comming from the stuff mountain where she was.

She smiled, seemed to say "Oh, somebody pinch me!". Nigel felt really upset and sad... Usually, she doesn't let herself humiliated like this by anyone. He saw Fifi holding Johnny's stuff and following him to the sunset... Nigel followed them far away. While they watch them, he shouted to the sky : "Johnny, you'll pay for this! And if i don't succes, make a fat lady singing falling on me!" PLAF! Suddenly a fat woman falled on him, like for Fifi earlier...

Nigel rolled with his skateboard on the streets.

Since yesterday evening, he lost Fifi and her dumb charming prince. He finaly found them, near another street. Nigel stops behind a trash can and watched them. Apparently they were looking for a pen to buy. Nigel suddenly found a brillant idea. He took a dynamite stick on his pocket, painted and sculpted it to make it look like a pen "Héhé a luck to have Calamity Coyote as a pal, himself couldn't find better!" then he goes to the shop where Johnny & Fifi just entered.

He goes inside and put the fake near some others and added a panel "Magic pen, free" and hides himself near for watching, after turned on the wick...

The two skunks came at the part and found the m"agic pen". Johnny look at the pen, without seeing the burning wick. It was burning fast, the explosion was near... But nothing happened. The wick stopped to burn suddenly...

Johnny tried to write something, but the pen didn't worked. He threw it away and took another one, saying "Free stuff are all the same" before exiting the area with Fifi.

Upset, Nigel took the fake pen and give it a black looking. BOOM! The pen exploded in Nigel's face! For that one, it was missed...

Fifi and Johnny still were looking for a pen when they meet a strange guy. It was apparently a skunk with a big beard, sunglasses and a hawaian shirt and was selling pens. "Here they come, he thought. I hope it will work this time. These vibrating pens makes impossible to write. If Johnny tries to sign Feef's photo with it, he will mess it up and she will be upset. It can't fail." And our Nigel disguised said "Hey there, I give pens for free, for the promotion of... eh the new Acme sun lotion" Fifi looked at Nigel without recognize him "What eez zee point between sun lotions and pens?" she said. Nigel thought "Euhhhhh... I dunno, It's jsut a summer job! Come on, take one!"

Johnny took one and push the button whick makes it vibrate. Strangely, it was Nigel who was vibrating everywhere, making him go away from them. Nigel tried to not shout his favourite swear.

Nigel sat on a sidewalk, near the cinema's doors. He was desperate. He wasn't afraid to be seen by Fifi anymore, It wasn't important now... That Johnny Pew made fail all of his plans...

Nigel felt someone sitting near him. He looked and saw a cute pink skunk who was as depressed as him.

- Sometimes life likes to badly play withcha. Dontcha think, Bimbette?" he says

- You're right, handsome... Why you look so sad?

- I think i lost the one i loved because of another guy. I thought it was a dumb guy but looks like he have all the qualities...

- That's horrible... Compared to yours, my problems looks like nothing...

- Why? What hap'ned to ya?

- I wanted an autograph from Johhny Pew. I know he's in town but i didn't find him..."

Nigel nodded and they stayed like that a moment. A giant smoking cigarette passed near them, mumbling things about non-smoking places... Suddenly Nigel realised what Bimbette said and his face smiled. He got his ultimate chance. "If it can helps, Bimbette, I know where he is! He's at the movies, behind us, with Fifi, they are watching his last movie! It's now or never if you want your autograph!" Bimbette looked at him, surprised "You're joking??" Nigel smiled "I never been so serious! Just pass that door, you will see!" Bimbette jumps at the black skunk's neck and gived him kisses on the cheeks. Nigel pushed her back sweetly "wowoh easy, keep some for Johnny!" Then Bimbette was about to pass the door. Suddenly, an unidentified white thing passed through the door like a cannon bullet, passed between Bimbette and Nigel and splatted on the next building. Nigel recognised Foulmouth... Bimbette giggled as he saw the hole in the door. "Looks like i can enter now!" she said before going inside.

Nigel smiled and looked at the summer sky. No clouds, nothing than the blue sky between two blocks formed by the buildings. With Bimbette, he found a weak hope...

He woke up from his dreaming as he ears a familiar voice shouting "Want a kitty! Want a kitty". Nigel recognised Elmyra's voice and ran for hide himself behind a trash can. Elmyra was just passing on the street when suddenly a blue fluffy bullet jummped from the door to Elmyra's arms. Nigel smiled and almost laughed as he saw that it was Johnny Pew. He have been captured by that animal killer! Nigel decided to enter inside the projection room while Elmyra was hugging Johnny.

Nigel looked left and right, searching for a furry white and purple mass on the audience. He finally found her and goes to her.

Fifi was silently crying, cuddling her flurry tail. Nigel sits on Johnny's seat without saying a word. She didn't saw him and was still crying. Nigel, took by his heart, gave a napking to Fifi. She took it without noticing of who was giving it to her. She dryed her tears and Nigel said: "I'm sorry for the last time... I was the jerk one" he simply said. Fifi looked at Nigel, surprised, then cried on his lap. "Non, you were right, Nigel. Eet eez moi who have to give excuses, I should listen to vous... Nobody can be as uncouth as Johnny, now that i think about it..."

Nigel nodded and holded Fifi on his arms. They stayed like this a moment, then Nigel dryed Fifi's tears. She said sweetly "Nigel, nothing can be better zan pass zee summer with you..." Nigel giggled and said "It's especially for this that i came!"

LE END


End file.
